Searching for Why

By Judith E. Pearson, Ph.D.

"Why do I do these things?"

"Why can't I stop doing these things?"

Coaches and therapists often hear these questions from clients. The search for “Why” is a search for cause-effect—an explanation. When I ask clients what knowing “Why?” will do for them, they say that they will then understand. When I ask what understanding will do for them, they say that they believe that mere understanding will somehow bring about a change in behavior. Understanding why something happens does not automatically change behavior. It may still be necessary to learn new information, methods and strategies for effective living and accomplishing one’s desires and goals. Maybe the reason why you do something you don’t like is because you haven’t yet learned to do otherwise.

In Figuring Out People: Design Engineering with Meta-Programs, Hall and Bodenhamer (1997) state that one's "Philosophical Direction," can be either mostly "Why?" or mostly "How?" People with a "Why?" orientation think about causation, source, and origins, while those with a "How?" orientation think about use, function, direction, and destiny. "Why?" people sort for the philosophical past, based on the assumption that "If I can understand where something came from, I can gain mastery over it." However, they may get stuck in mentally reliving trauma, because they keep looping back to it, asking "Why?" "How" people, on the other hand, sort for purpose and maintain a solution focus, by asking "How can I respond to, or use, this?" A "Why?" person tends toward philosophical approaches, while a "How" person tends toward pragmatic approaches.

For people who ask "Why?" not knowing the cause, or not having an explanation, creates a feeling that something is incomplete or lacking in closure. Perhaps, instead, it is the closure itself that creates the "insight" that some clients (and some psychotherapists) believe will come from understanding the "cause." Haley (1996) wrote:

The confusion about the cause of symptoms has been encouraged by the way insight into the past can come about after a therapeutic change. Rather than assume that insight into the past causes change, it's better to think of change causing insight into the past....Therapists should be taught to respect insight as an aftermath of change. (p. 43)

What many people who search for “Why?” don’t always realize is that there can be multiple causes for why people do what they do. There is no “true” cause—there is only what we think of as the cause. Where you look for cause depends on your paradigm of cause-effect. Human behavior cannot be boiled down to the precision of a scientific formula or a mathematical equation. Searching for “Why?” is really a philosophical inquiry, in which you choose a “cause” that satisfies your paradigm.

The “cause” of an unwanted behavior can have many definitions and locations in linear time. Depending on which definition of cause one favors, cause can exist in the future, present, or past, or even in past lives. It can exist within the self or external to the self. It can reside within conscious awareness, or it can hide in the recesses of the unconscious mind. Many people aren't sure what kind of information they want when they ask "Why?" The purpose of this article is to present the various types of causality with respect to time, just to show how perplexing and confusing the search for “Why” can become.

Causality in the Future

“Cause” can reside in the future if you believe that behavior is goal-oriented. Here the “Why?” is really asking “What outcome am I trying to accomplish with this behavior?” This question goes to motives. After all, we engage in our wanted behaviors to accomplish some result. Couldn’t this be true of unwanted behaviors as well? Most human behavior serves two purposes: To get pleasure, or to avoid pain. If you believe that all behavior is goal-oriented, then I might ask you about your goals and outcomes and problem-solving strategies. I might ask, “If this wasn’t the outcome you wanted, then what did you want to accomplish? What is another method you might use to accomplish your outcome?”

Causality in the Present

Causes in the present can fall into a number of categories.

  • One cause of unwanted behavior could be your mental and emotional state at the time the unwanted behavior occurs. Here, the question is "What were you thinking and feeling at the moment the unwanted behavior occurred?" The solution might then lie in cultivating more resourceful thinking, developing empowering beliefs, and/or managing one’s emotions more effectively.
  • Sometimes unwanted behaviors are “caused” by external triggers that evoke a conditioned response. This fits in with the stimulus-response model supported by behavioral psychologists. Here, the question really is "What were you responding to in the environment when you engaged in the unwanted behavior?" The appropriate intervention might be desensitization training and promoting new responses through behavioral conditioning and associative learning.
  • Sociologists look to social causes for behavior. Here we could assume that problem behavior is the result of your perceived role in a larger system of social relationships. Conformity studies of the 1960's, such as those conducted by Stanley Schachter, demonstrated that individuals will behave in ways contrary to their beliefs and perceptions, under social pressures and perceived expectations of others. Here, the intervention of choice might be to explore your roles and functioning with the social group, and examine whether you want to continue in that role in that group.
  • Another popular “cause” of unwanted behavior lies in the unconscious mind. Here the question is really “What is going on in my unconscious mind that causes my behavior?” In this instance, NLP and hypnotherapy are helpful in bringing unconscious purposes and intentions into conscious awareness. Sometimes, then, you can consciously choose other methods to satisfy such purpose and intentions, thus eliminating the need for the unwanted behavior.
  • One’s biochemical state could be another cause. The question here might be, “What chemical reactions are affecting my mind and body that I would behave in this way?” The answer might be that the behavior is due to a chemical reaction or an imbalance due to something ingested or exposure to some substance or allergen in the environment. The individual might be experiencing an altered state due to a glandular insufficiency, illness, allergies, drugs, or toxins. If the “Why?” is about a biochemical cause, then a visit to a physician might be the place to start searching for the answer.
  • Another cause of behavior is habit. In his book, Life Coaching, Dave Ellis writes: “The idea of changing habits becomes clear to clients when they try on a new idea—that most of the things they want to change about themselves are habits. For example, I think…happiness is a habit. I think complaining is a habit. I think that lack of energy might also be a habit…Our level of self-esteem, our ways of solving problems…are also habits. I see our behaviors and personalities as mostly a collection of habits.” (p. 136). Obviously, the solution here is to apply habit control methods and exchange old habits for new ones.

Causal Factors that Reside in the Past

When we assume a deterministic view of human behavior, we assume that unwanted behaviors are a result of something negative that happened in the past. If the cause occurred in the past, then the associated learnings could still be operating today, placing limitations on your freedom to choose more resourceful behaviors. In this paradigm, your question becomes, "What happened to me in the past that created my current-day understandings, fears, inhibitions, and beliefs associated with the unwanted behavior?" Here are some causal factors that reside in the past:

  • Past causal factors, more or less external to the individual, are "significant emotional experiences" (often traumas) that have given rise to limiting beliefs and now-maladaptive coping patterns. If you believe that unwanted behaviors are due to past events, psychotherapy offers a number of interventions to help desensitize you to such events and see those events from additional perspectives, so that you are now free of such influences, and you can learn new beliefs and new coping patterns.
  • Other factors that reside in the past include social and cultural constraints and influences, which are more ubiquitous than emotional events. These influences include ethnic and religious beliefs and practices, gender role and racial expectations and stereotypes, and socioeconomic barriers. To bring about a solution, a therapist might employ interventions targeted at changing your limiting beliefs, sense of identity and self-concept.
  • Another cause rooted in the past could be a physical impairment, which may or may not continue to exist in the present. Physical impairments could include genetic factors, birth defects, injuries, inborn chemical or biological deficits or predispositions. Such factors are usually beyond one’s control. Again, this type of causality calls for a medical approach, to correct the impairment or compensate for it. If the physical impairment was also the cause of maladaptive behaviors and emotions, then psychotherapy and counseling could help acquiring with new skills.

Other causes that people have identified from the past include birth order, personality types, and astrological factors. In these cases, the therapist’s task is to help you sort out responsibility for self, and help you decide what you can realistically change and what you can only accept and how to come to terms with what cannot be changed.

Some clients believe that the causes of their behavior lie in past lives. Indeed, some mental health professionals, such as Weiss (1991; 1992) insist that many human emotional ills have their origins in the forgotten learnings, relationships, traumas, and associations of past lives. Here the solution is to bring past life "events" into consciousness (usually through hypnotic regression). Then the therapist can apply hypnotic suggestions and other interventions usually used with past trauma to “heal” the effects of past life traumas and tragedies.

Cause Upon Cause

Finally, consider that there might be causes layered upon cause, depending on how deep you want to dig. If someone says your behavior stems from a childhood event, then you could still ask “Why did I respond that way, as a child, and not some other way.” Answer: Because of your personality (or birth order or astrological sign or genetics). You could still ask, “Why did I not see beyond that influence, or learn to compensate for it?” Answer: Because of the culture you were reared in. The conversation could go on indefinitely. How would you know when you are satisfied and you can stop asking? Again, it probably depends on your cause-effect paradigm.

Summary

When a client asks me “Why do I do this?” or “Why can’t I stop doing this?” I might ask in return, "What type of information would help to answer your question?" or "If you knew the answer, what kind of information would you have?" If you aren’t sure, I could even give you a menu of causes from which to choose. You could say “I believe I have this unwanted behavior because…” and you could choose from the following.

  • I am seeking to accomplish some outcome or result.
  • My mental and/or emotional state creates the problem.
  • I am reacting to triggers in my environment.
  • I am responding to the norms and expectations of my social group.
  • Something in my unconscious mind compels me.
  • I have biochemical deficits.
  • I have an unwanted habit.
  • I am responding to events that happened in my past.
  • I am responding to past cultural and social influences.
  • I have/had a physical impairment.
  • My birth order determines my behavior.
  • My genes determine my behavior.
  • I have personality traits that determine my behavior.
  • My astrological sign determines my behavior.
  • My problem stems from past lives.

Whatever you believe is the source of your unwanted behavior, your cause-effect paradigm will tell me how to work with you and the types of interventions and counseling or coaching strategies to use with you. When you ask “Why?” the answer depends on where you want to look.

Jack Elias, author of Finding True Magic tells his readers this: “…to communicate effectively as a therapist, you must recognize the client’s personal laws of cause and effect. Their assumptions about cause and effect govern their thinking, their perceptual processes, and their action in the world. These assumptions underlie the structure and maintenance of a person’s problems, their resources, and their individual identity. Once formulated, generally at a very young…age, such assumptions operate primarily unconsciously—unexamined and unchallenged.”

References

Elias, J. (2006). Finding true magic: Transpersonal hypnosis and hypnotherapy/NLP.
Seattle: Five Wisdoms Press.

Ellis, D. (2006). Life Coaching. Wales: Crown House Publishing.

Hall, L. M. and Bodenhamer, B. G. (1997). Figuring out people: Design engineering
with meta-programs. Wales, U. K: The Anglo American Book Company.

Munshaw, J. and Zink, N. (1997). What's a map? Anchor Point, May, p. 31-36.

Weiss, B. L. (1991). Many lives, many masters. New York: Simon and Schuster.

Weiss, B. L. (1992). Through time into healing. New York: Simon and Schuster.



Judith E. Pearson, Ph.D. is a Licensed Professional Counselor, writer, and speaker with a counseling and coaching practice in Springfield, Virginia, specializing in hypnotherapy and Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Her web site is www.engagethepower.com.