Support Teams: Creating
the Life You Want
by Kathie Hightower
In 1989 at Ft. Lewis, Washington, I decided
to take a leap and start my own business
— very scary! Someone heard what I
was doing and said, "You should meet
Reba Bruni — it sounds like you two
have a lot in common." We met for a
lunch that turned into one of those amazing
connections. We talked non-stop for hours
and came out of the restaurant full of ideas,
energy and motivation. I told Reba, "We
need to keep meeting."
That is how my first support team was born.
We found four other women with dreams of
their own and started meeting weekly to
help each other with ideas, to nudge each
other along, and to provide the support
we each needed to keep going for what we
wanted — and in many cases, to first
figure out what exactly it was that we wanted!
Since then, with each move, I've created
a new team. Once you've been part of one,
you will always want to be part of one.
The group I started while living in Germany
continues today as a Virtual Group over
the Internet. With members in Germany, DC,
Wisconsin, Oklahoma and Oregon, we brainstorm
and support each other via email. But I’m
also a member of a “live” group
here. Email is great but it doesn’t
quite replace the immediacy and synergy
of face-to-face interaction and brainstorming.
And virtual hugs don’t quite replace
real ones.
These groups work so well for a number
of reasons.
• The accountability factor. We
have to admit each meeting whether or not
we accomplished the mini-goals we each set
the meeting before— which everyone
wrote down! It’s much easier to justify
procrastination when you are only accountable
to yourself. It is much harder to face four
or five other people and say “I didn’t
do it — again!”
• The expansion of resources,
contacts and ideas. You are only one
person with one set of experiences and ideas.
The group not only brings in all of their
ideas to add to yours, but the synergy of
the group in brainstorming creates completely
new ideas. You might see only one way to
accomplish what you want — and it
may not be feasible based on your location
or finances or experience level. The group
will help come up with alternate paths that
are feasible right now.
• Courage. The group provides
a sounding board for your doubts and fears
and supports you in pushing past them, in
both practical and concrete ways, and at
an emotional level. Sometimes group members
physically go along to provide moral support
during a challenging task.
• Your own personal cheering squad.
When you succeed at something, your
group helps you celebrate. When you are
feeling down, it helps to be around “up”
people who can remind you that you won’t
always feel this way.
• Additional “antennae.”
Since they all know your dream, they
bring in resources, articles, contacts,
and information for you that they happen
to run across — information that you
might never have run across yourself.
• Possibility thinking. As
you see others move towards what they want
and succeed, you get inspired and motivated
to take action yourself.
Is this type of team only for people trying
to run their own business? Not at all! It
doesn't matter what your dreams or goals
are — they can be personal, parenting,
spiritual, physical, financial, educational,
whatever! They can be small or large, short-term
or long-term. The group is just a means
to get — and keep — you moving
towards something you want. And you have
a lot of fun, laughter and great conversation
in the process!
©1998, Kathie Hightower
Kathie Hightower is an author and
international speaker. Information at
www.jumpintolife.net and at
www.militaryspousehelp.com.
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